<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Reckless by CaptainTardis</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26437654">Reckless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainTardis/pseuds/CaptainTardis'>CaptainTardis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alphabet Series [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>K (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hurt Harbor, Port Angst, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Slight Suicide Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts, but he also hates how his brain thinks the things it does, for Suicide Awareness Month, in a sense that he just doesn't care, reckless in the hopes of dying, reckless yata misaki, self depreciating thought, self-depreciation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:34:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,511</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26437654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainTardis/pseuds/CaptainTardis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He just briefly looked at the road before he pushed his board out into the middle of the mess of cars darting around quickly to get to the other side. He could feel the displaced air of the cars he's just barely missed pass around him and clicked his tongue as his brain tried to put the thought of <i>‘it should have hit me’</i> in his head.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fushimi Saruhiko &amp; Yata Misaki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alphabet Series [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536152</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Reckless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I gave my co-workers and my Partner letters then had them give me random words that started with that letter. Let's see where this all goes!</p><p>From my lovely and amazing partner who I love: Reckless<br/>And let me tell you this has been writen for a long ass time but it is in one of my top favs on having written.</p><p>And again I debated posting this and the last one in sequence as I originally planned but with it being Suicide Awareness Month I figured deviating from schedule would be okay.  After these there may be a gap in new fics because T-Z still need to be written… lol ^.^" sorry I've been slacking a little</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yata would like to say that it started when Saruhiko left Homra… had left <strong>him</strong> but he knew it was there well before then. Well before he even met the now blue clansman back in middle school. If he had a guess part of him will say that it was always there in the back of mind. That little voice that said he was a bad son… Though he really did try not to be a bad kid it just never worked out… The little voice telling him that all his friends where all fake, though that one seemed to be true in the end… The little voice that said he wasn't good enough, still somewhat true if you caught him at the wrong moment… And the one that said he wasn't loved and that he would just be abandoned again like with Saruhiko… He was really leaning into that being true… Especially now that Mikoto and Tatara were gone and there weren't very many people coming by the bar anymore… Kamamoto sometimes but he had Anna to take care of and his job at his parents shop. Even Kusanagi was gone off to who knows where. They were all just… gone.<br/> <br/><em>I'm going to lose everything… I HAVE lost everything… I'll be alone… AGAIN… I don't deserve anything good … Maybe that’s what the world was telling me now? That I don’t deserve anything good. Everything is gone… No Totsuka-san… No Mikoto-san… No Saru…. Everyone important… Everyone good… I can't… I can't do this, I can't I can't I CAN'T-</em><br/> <br/><em><b>FUCKING STOP!</b></em> He clicked his tongue softly as he rolled off the couch with a frustrated growl at his own thought process… He gets like this sometimes, but it has been a while since it has spiraled that far. <em>This is going nowhere.</em> He thought to himself as he grabbed his skateboard. <em>Maybe going to the skate park will help. </em><br/> <br/><em>Doubtful,</em> he thought to himself, but he still left the apartment barely remembering to turn and lock the door behind him. <em>Fuck it's cold.</em> He thought as he left the building belatedly realizing that he never did pull on his sweater over his black tank and that he didn't have his hoodie tied to his waist either. <em>Oh well.</em> He thought with a shrug as he still walked down the steps of the building quickly throwing his board on the ground and hopping on it. <em>Getting sick won’t matter anyway… not like anyone would care anyways.</em> He thought as he skated towards his favorite skate park.<br/> <br/>He shivered slightly as the wind blew over his bare arms and legs and he clicked his tongue annoyed by the cold. He never used to be cold like this… <em>I guess this is what happens when your King dies and takes his fire with him.</em> He let out a sigh having not intended his thought to sound bitter towards his former king. He crouched down for a moment on the board before making a long jump over some steps. He really needed to not think at the moment. Thinking brought those thoughts to him and made him want to do things that were way too reckless… <em>Though to be fair no one would care if I did.</em> He thought and growled pushing harder on the ground to gain more speed to get to his destination quicker. The faster he could get himself to not think the better.</p><p>He just briefly looked at the road before he pushed his board out into the middle of the mess of cars darting around quickly to get to the other side. He could feel the displaced air of the cars he's just barely missed pass around him and clicked his tongue as his brain tried to put the thought of <em>‘it should have hit me’</em> in his head. Car honks followed him as he got to the other side unscathed and he simply kept going weaving around people easily, his foot pushing him faster when he could growling in frustration when people were in the way and he had to slow down. He crossed an intersection with another growl of frustration not caring that the light was still red for pedestrians.<br/> <br/>He made it to the park unscathed. <em>Too bad.</em> He thought bitterly as he looked around finding he was alone in the park. <em>Probably avoiding the cold. You know like a <span class="u">sane</span> person would do… <b>Shut up.</b></em> He thought as he pushed himself to the first ramp.<br/> <br/>*-*<br/> <br/>There's no telling how long he's been there for. He does note that it had gotten colder at some point because his hands wouldn't stop shaking and his teeth chatter no matter how hard he clenches his jaw to try and stop it. He frowns and decides to do one more jump before he'll go back to his apartment. He kicks off a few times hard to get up to the speed he wanted before taking the ramp. For a moment it's like he's flying, and he closes his eyes for just a second before he makes his landing. A very rough landing that has his board coming out from under him and him stumbling to regain his balance on shaky legs. <em>Damn the fucking cold.</em><br/> <br/>Someone catches him before he faceplants onto the concrete and he is thankful until he notices Blue and a voice didn’t expect to hear. "I think that is enough for to today Misaki." Saruhiko said looking down at him when Yata finally pushed himself away from the Blue clansman's chest. "Tch. You are freezing. Are you an idiot? Actually don't answer that. Why did you leave without your sweater? Or a Jacket? Stop being so damn reckless you idiot."<br/> <br/>Yata frowns deeply his teeth chattering too hard to actually respond to the other so he just he just shrugs. <em>He doesn't actually care. He's never cared for you.</em> His mind spits. <em>Probably just here to make fun of the idiot who couldn't take care of himself… or his king. See how well that ended… maybe he wants to see the disaster that is Misaki!! Maybe to see it all come <b>burning</b> to an end. Burn. Burn. Burn to an end!</em> He frowned at his own thoughts that sounded like an awful mix of his own voice and that of Fushimi Niki's that unsettled him and <em><span class="u">this</span></em> was why he wanted to be skating… <em>Maybe some alcohol when I get home will be better for NOT thinking.</em> He could stop at the bar. Kusanagi wasn’t there to stop him from taking a few bottles… <em><em><em>What would the harm be?</em><br/><br/><b><em>Che. Stop it.</em></b></em></em>He didn't want the Monkey seeing him like this he decided and looked around for where his board went as he rubbed at his arms to try and get some type of warmth back to them and his hands. He heard Saruhiko click his tongue behind him just before he felt weight across his shoulders and down his back.<em><em><br/><br/><em>What?</em><br/><br/></em></em>"Put that on idiot before you get sick. I'll get your board. You probably couldn't even pick it up with how bad your hands are shaking." Saruhiko says to the red head ignoring his wide hazel eyes and walked off to get Yata's board from the ground where it had landed from his fall.<br/><br/>"S-s-s-Saru?" Yata gets out with chattering teeth and he frowns deeply watching the other walk off in just his uniform vest and shirt. <em><em><em>Damn monkey. </em></em></em>He thought and pulled the coat on his arms before crossing his arms tightly across his chest. <em><em><em>Smells like him though. </em></em></em>He thought and buried his nose in the collar of the jacket sighing lightly welcoming the warmth that was left from Saruhiko wearing it and welcoming the comforting scent of his ex-best friend. <em><em><em>What are you fucking doing you idiot? The monkey doesn't care about you! And you are smelling his jacket? His fucking BLUE Jacket?! That you have on like it is nothing? </em></em></em>He frowned watching Saruhiko come back to him with his board. Shut up. He thought to himself looking up to Saruhiko. "W-why?"<em><em><br/><br/></em></em>"Tch. Did the cold make you even more of an idiot?" Saruhiko asked clicking his tongue and leaned the skateboard against his leg to pull the jacket on Yata properly doing up the buttons after getting the red head to move his arms into the sleeves. "We agreed right? Only I'm allowed to kill you. So I'm not going to let you kill yourself by being an idiot who can't take care of himself." The taller male continued after deeming the jacket secure enough to at least block out a good bit of the cold. Yata's legs were still uncovered but it would have to do for now. "Come on let’s get you back home."<br/><br/>Yata could only nod at the other’s words and follow him. Still he smiles slightly burying his nose into to collar of Saruhiko jacket again to hide it as he thought to himself. <em><em><em>Okay… Maybe not everyone is gone like I thought…</em></em></em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello!</p><p>Tis your Captain speaking!<br/>How are you today? Have you drank water? Slept? Taken a shower? Eaten? Taken any medication that you need to take?<br/>If not please do that! I love you and I want you to take care of yourself!</p><p> </p><p>Find me on tumblr!<br/><a>CaptainTardis</a> (sometimes that link doesn't work but I'm pretty sure if you just look it up or @captaintardis on tumblr you'll find me or a link to me.</p><p>Or Twitter!<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/_CaptainTardis_">CaptainTardis</a> (I know this one works but please be over 18 to follow)</p><p>We can talk!</p><p>You can also scream at me for updates XD (actually please don't scream at me) and if you ask nicely I may give out little snippets of future stuff I am working on just specify a fandom I currently write for!</p><p> </p><p>Comments and kudos are very much appreciated! (They are the life fuel that drives me to writing more of these)</p><p>And! As usual with all of my works I have no beta and it is mostly all written on my phone! So if you see any mistakes or if something isn’t worded right please do tell me so that I can attempt to fix it!</p><p>Please and thank you!</p><p>See you next time!</p><p>Love,<br/>Your Captain</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>